Tales of Happy Ever After Part 1


They met in church. They are what you would call church goers or bench warmers.

It is a Single’s Retreat in church. He thought he’ll use the opportunity to get lucky with the ladies. She thought she’ll talk to God to help her keep her secret.

None was looking for love.

They sat next to each other on the third row by the right. He pretends to listen to what the preacher talks about while she tries to listen but her silent prayers keep distracting her.

Twenty minutes to the end of service, the preacher says ‘Turn to your neighbour and say ‘Neighbour…’ They turn towards each other and BOOM!!! INSTANT CHEMISTRY. The word ‘Neighbour’ doesn’t escape either mouth. His lips gaped open. His thoughts ‘Finally! Wetin I dey find for Sokoto so na my sokoto e dey’. Her thoughts ‘What’s this one staring at? It’s not like I have ‘ewedu’ on my teeth?’

The preacher yells another thunderous ‘Neighbour…’ This time they don’t stare. He looks her straight in the eye and says ‘Neighbour…’ she, who never backs down from a challenge, returns the look with ‘Neighbour…’ The words are said, the preacher shares the grace and service is over.

In her haste to leave the church and avoid this staring stranger, she accidentally drops her phone. Seeing this as an act of divine intervention, he picks it up, puts it in his pocket and leaves the church.

5hrs later…

‘Life’s too even short to care at all oh oh…If I could find a way to see this straight, I’ll run away to some fortune that I, I should have found by now…cough syrup to come down, come down’

He thinks her ring tone odd, making him more interested in her. By the fourth ring, he picks the call.

They talk. She wants her phone back. He says he’ll give it to her if she agrees to lunch with him. She thinks he’s crazy and tells him so. He says she doesn’t have much of a choice except to go to lunch and get her phone back. She agrees to his crazy idea so far she gets to pick a time and place. She picks Angela’s Cuisine, the next day, 2pm. He’s cool with this. She ends the call with ‘You better come with my baby fully charged and all its parts intact’.

Next day, 2:30pm

He has been waiting for thirty minutes and she hasn’t shown up. He hates been kept waiting but something breaths calm and patience over him. ‘She’s just trying to ruffle my feathers’ is his thought. He orders a glass of orange juice.

3:05pm


She walks in. He is pissed but the sight of this beauty looking like she just stepped off a magazine cover into the restaurant melts his anger away. He stands up to greet her. Don’t be fooled, he is no gentleman but the sight of her beauty reminds him of all the etiquette lessons he got in school.
She doesn’t look happy. She wants her phone so she can leave. He wants her to stay for lunch. She doesn’t think it to be a good idea. He tells her he’s never been to Angela’s Cuisine and he’s famished, what dish does she recommend? She asks if he’ll give her her phone after she recommends him food. He smiles. She tells him to try the spaghetti with another glass of orange juice. He thanks her and gives her the phone. She’s turns to leave but changes her mind. She tells him she’ll have lunch with him. He smiles. She smiles.

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