The Pain of Separation Episode 12: The Set Up

To understand this post, please read Episode 10: William

It has been a while since I have been here. I wish I had the time to do this more often but the demands of life; work and raising a child keep me occupied.

I’m in a happy place now, having come to terms with the divorce, I forge ahead to create a good life for my daughter, Bola and myself. Kunle is still a part of our lives, at least he’s a major part of Bola’s life and I pay him the courtesy he deserves as the father of my child and a man I was once married to.

Last week, I went out on a date. It was a blind date arranged by TY (who else would do such a thing). She calls me on Wednesday ‘Hi, what are you doing this Saturday night?’ she asked ‘Spending quality time with my daughter and catching up on my favourite TV shows’ I answered. ‘Not this Saturday, you are going out on a date with Engr. Festus Owolabi. Remember the handsome Engineer I mentioned two weeks ago who works in a civil engineering consulting firm on the 3rd floor. Well, we got talking and I found out that he’s single so I told him I have a cute friend who’s also single and you too should have drinks some time and he immediately took me up on the offer’

‘TY’ I moaned ‘You didn’t even ask for my permission. Who told you I’m interested in going out with a stranger. Aren’t you single why don’t you go out with him? She just won’t change, always trying to be the fairy godmother hooking Cinderella up to Prince Charming.

‘Oh puhleez quit your yapping, he’s not my type and I’m doing you a favour. You need some air and also you need to have adult conversations with people who aren’t me or Chichi or your colleagues at work. If I have to guess and I’m sure I’m right you are discussing things that you have no business sharing with your 10 year old’. I’m guilty as charged just three days ago I was teaching Bola how to conduct market surveys and analyse the results so she could understand the job of a new client I was working on, crazy right?

‘You should have asked me though what if I had something planned for Saturday like a trip or a visit to the dentist’

‘Puhleez, no dentist office opens on Saturday night and if you were travelling I would have heard of it by now since I’m the first on your list for nanny duties. You will be meeting him at Blue Fire Bar for drinks at 7pm, I’ll be at your place by 4pm. Do you have anything sexy in your wardrobe? Never mind I’ll come by with your outfit. Just make sure you fix your hair, drink lots of water to hydrate your skin and rest. Start flossing your teeth from tonight and exfoliate your skin. Also don’t forget to wax the forest down below; we won’t want lions and zebras leaping out at him. You never can tell where the night would lead you…’

I sat quietly listening to my friend give me advice and tips on how to prepare for a date. When she was done, I sighed and said ‘see you at 4pm on Saturday, thanks’

I then put a call through to Chichi. ‘Hi darling, what’s good with you?’ came her voice.

‘Everything but TY’ I replied

‘What did she do this time? If it’s about the date, she has my blessing.

‘You too? What did TY do, brainwash you?’ I was truly surprised. Chichi usually had my back in situations like this.

‘Darling, you need to go out more and meet people. She called me and I told her to do it and not tell you until after it was done. We want the best for you Kemi, always remember that and the best right now for you is a man. I won’t be in town on Saturday. Kevin is travelling and as a dutiful wife I’m tagging along however I expect a detailed update about the date’ ‘Chi, where is my grey sweater?’ I could hear Kevin’s voice at the background. ‘I have to go now dear. Just remember to have fun. Love you’. The line goes dead.

I call my hairdresser and beautician to fix appointments for Friday and then get back to work.


Bola comes to wake me up by bouncing on my bed. She turns on the TV and settles in beside me to watch early morning cartoons. This is the best part of Saturday, mother-daughter bonding.

At 9am, I get up to let the cleaning lady in and also to make breakfast while Bola goes to take bath. We eat and then settle back in to watch more TV.

By 2pm, I drop her off at her friend’s and return home for a quick nap

TY arrives at 4pm with two gowns for me to choose from. One is a gold sequined long sleeved knee length gown with a low cut at the back while the other was a floral print short dress. I knew what she wanted me to wear and I picked it without delay-The gold sequin.

‘Gooooooood. I see the years of associating with me have rubbed off on you. Shoes and accessories are all that’s left which should be easy’. She ransacks through my wardrobe till she picks the perfect pair of shoes and accessories to compliment my outfit. ‘There. Now go shower and come get dressed. You won’t want to keep him waiting’

It took me 1hr to get dressed. I kiss my baby good night as I’m sure she’ll be asleep by the time I’m back. TY walks me to my car and says ‘last minute advice, whatever happens know that I did this for you and please don’t be angry’


As per TY’s instructions, I was to meet Engr. Festus at the bar. She told me he’ll be wearing a blue jacket.  I walk towards the bar feeling very confident in my outfit. At my age, I’m still turning heads. The girls were right I should go out more often. I put a smile on my face and tap Engr. Festus on the shoulder. He turns around.

‘SHIT!!! I’m going to kill TY when I get home’ I swear.

 Engr. Festus Owolabi is William Adesina.


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