‘Why are you hiding from my brother? Get your head together, we are in the same study group and we have an MBA to bag. You need to stop acting like a 13year old virgin. This is ridiculous’ that is Sade’s text message to me this morning.
It’s been 4 days of hiding and dodging him. Missing classes where speaking to him would be inevitable. You must think I’m crazy. ‘What’s the big deal?’ You say. He isn’t the first guy to behold my naked splendour and be speechless. Maybe he is the first guy to see my ‘bush’ though. Gosh! I feel so embarrassed.
Who can be knocking my door at 7:30am on a Saturday morning? This had better be good and the person had better have breakfast. I drag myself out of bed ‘I’m coming, don’t break my door’ I yell. ‘Who’s there? I ask.
‘It’s me’. I know that voice. I could never mistake it, no matter how hard I try. NOOOOO! WHAT IS HE DOING HERE? I immediately dial Sade’s number. ‘Your brother is at my door, what should I do?’ I whisper into the phone. ‘Open the door for him’ she replies and hangs up.
I hold my phone to my chest contemplating my next move when my mind takes me back to when I first met the twins. It was during course registration. They were outside the course adviser’s office arguing about an elective in learning to speak Mandarin. Sade wanted to offer it. She believed that since the Chinese were doing business everywhere, it would be good to learn their language. To give her a business edge. Her brother thought it was a waste of time. In his words ‘There are lots of business men who don’t speak Mandarin but they do business with the Chinese’ .I was walking by when Sade pulled me by the arm and asked ‘Hi, please are you in MBA15 class?’
‘Yes’ I replied. Her next question was ‘Will you be offering the Mandarin language course?’ I replied with another ‘Yes’. I had the exact same thoughts as Sade about the Chinese doing business everywhere. ‘Good, please will you be my study partner? My brother thinks the course is a waste of time’. She asked smiling. Little did I know that the smile was to drive her twin crazy.‘I guess’ I sounded unsure.
I was taken by surprise. I didn’t even know her name or who she was. We walked away together, leaving her brother looking very angry. That was the beginning of my friendship with Sade and inevitably her brother because no matter how hard they argued. They love and respect each other.
‘Knock, knock, knock’ the sound from the door brings me back to present day.
Why won’t he go away? I move closer to the door.
‘I know you are in there, let me in so we can talk. You know you can’t hide from me forever’ I hear him greet someone ‘good morning’.
‘I’m causing a scene here. This is Africa not Hollywood. Come and open this door now before your neighbour thinks I’m a ritualist or worst a thief’ he sounds angry. ‘I see you have removed your key from under the mat’ he becomes silent. Then I hear him argue with someone.
My phone rings, Sade is on the line ‘Please open the door for him and I’ll pay for that black leather handbag you have been eyeing online for two weeks now. I need to sleep and he won’t stop calling me until he’s in your flat’. She sounds really tired and I feel guilty. ‘Ok, I will open the door for him because I want to you to rest but thanks for the handbag’ I’m smiling into the phone. ‘Ole ni e (You’re a thief)’ she laughs, the line goes dead.
I walk to door, take a deep breath, put my hand on the knob and unlock it. Just as I pull the door open, Sade’s brother slams the door into my face and bursts my upper lip.
‘JESUS CHRIST’ I scream out in pain
It will take more than a handbag to fix this.