You have missed him so much, it literally hurts. You can’t wait to visit him (at his place) for a romantic weekend or fun filled holiday. You have packed you bags, calculated transport fare or bought an air fare ticket. It’s just a few days separating you from been in the arms of the love of your life. A magical weekend or holiday. I’m so happy for you.

Well, there are some things you do when you go visit your boyfriend that you think he dosen’t notice. I’m here to tell you men do notice ladies and they are mentally judging you for it.

Below is a list of things you should NOT do at your bae’s house. ENJOY!

  1. If you are like me without front hair or hair at your nape, don’t loose your braids or weaves or remove your wig. Lack of real hair has tested some relationships.
  1. Don’t fart in your sleep. If you feel bloated or you have gas, don’t go to his house. Chances are you will fart in your sleep.
  1. Don’t wear your ‘I’m-almost-dead’ ‘brown-down-under’ underwear (especially panties). You know the ones you’ve had since you were 18 (you’re now 28) that you love so much and have refused to throw away even though it has holes or has turned brown. 3b. Don’t go with just one bra (even if it’s your favourite bra or the only one that makes your boobs look bigger or pack them ‘melons’ well). You think your man doesn’t notice, but he does.
  1. Don’t go with your ‘BUSH (pubic hair)’. Try to deforest the area, you don’t want a lion and zebra leaping out, holding hands singing ‘Hakuna matata’. Except he digs it. I think not.
  1. Don’t just cook him noodles all the time you’re there. He’s lying if he says ‘honey, I don’t want to stress you’ if you want to cook because when you get married, you will be pounding yam with his grandma’s mortar and pestle while breastfeeding your baby and ironing his shirts. Make sure you cook something special at least once or twice while you’re there, maybe his favourite meal.
  1. Please leave all the Kardashians and all the Real Housewives at your place (except he loves the drama, I think not)
  1. Don’t tie your mum’s ankara or lace wrapper over your breast at his house. That’s some old married people’s shit.
  1. Leave your smelly hair net, hair cap or scarve ‎at your house. You don’t want him to suddenly become asthmatic laying beside you in bed.
  1. Don’t forget your stuff at his house (your earrings, bracelet, shoes, purse, panties, picture, or an entire suitcase filled with half your wardrobe). You are not a dog marking its territory with urine. Let him give you closet space first.
  1. Don’t leave the bed untidy. Make the bed when you wake up.
  2. Personal opinion: if you just started dating, he’s on probation and you don’t want to give him your ‘cookie’ yet, DON’T SLEEP OVER. No need tempting him, yourself and the devil.

Thanks to my friend, Dudu, for adding these four ‘DON’T’

  1. Do not check his phone except he tries to show you something on it. Never go through his closet or drawers. That’s a fuckgirl move
  1. Don’t leave skid marks in his toilet
  1. When you eat, wash your plate
  1. Don’t leave broken hair ends lying around at his place   15b. Don’t turn his place into a nuclear war zone with your makeup kit and/or beauty products

I hope you enjoyed my list of DON’T. Care to add more? Share your thoughts below.




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